We all have or will have at some point in our lives, something so terrible or even tragic happen, something so unbelievably devastating occur in our lives that will cause us pain. I am talking about that awful, horrific emotional pain that feels overwhelming and unbearable. The emotional pain that makes us feel we can’t sit still, it causes our mind to race with random and perhaps even uncontrollable thoughts, the mind is panicking! Some of us feel rage, anger, shame, guilt or depression-in an extreme scale of the feelings. There comes a sense of urgency, a great urgency to take action of some sort, many times racing through all sorts of scenarios about what this or that action might be. We may even race through the scenarios, our mind trying to figure out what to do at a very rapid pace.
Many of us have it happen to us more than once in our life times. Some people will have a tendency to make sure that whatever happened will never happen to them again, thus they shield themselves by building a wall around those areas of their life, in hopes of keeping themselves safe from ever experiencing that type of pain again.
For some of you, you may have built a wall around that area, only to be quite shocked and surprised when something just as devastating happens in a different area of your life. Somewhere you had never suspected, you may even hear your inner voice saying something to confirm your unsuspecting mind, like, “I never even thought about that”, or “that was the last thing i ever thought could happen”. Thus wielding you a double dose of inner pain. Some of you may have been taught in your life that pain is natural, and not to close yourself off or you will end up like some old bitter woman or man, so you have kept yourself open and experienced pain as a part of life, and perhaps complain your way through it, or complain until even you become tired of your own complaining and one day simply stop.
Or maybe you decided at some point to believe that love equals pain, and unconsciously wait for the pain to arrive. This is your way of shielding the inevitable pain of love…by waiting for it. Or by keeping a part of yourself from fully experiencing the love, so that when you do lose it, it will not hurt so much. There are those few exceptions in human beings who by the grace of God, or a deep inner knowing, are able to remain calm cool and have some experience of peace along with the pain….or to jump right back in and open yourself up fully to the experience, with the thought of innocence again. Or a person who really can just get right back up and dust themselves off and jump right back in the saddle without the self-torture and scrutiny that begets the majority of us human beings. Hats off to you!!!
I think this category of human beings might be those we’ve heard referred to as “old souls”, you’ve been in human form many many times and deep down you have realized what the rest of us have yet to realize is that this life is an illusion, and that we are participating in the creation of our own experiences here. That if we wish to experience something other than what is before us, we must simply think other thoughts. Detach from the thoughts that are causing us so much pain, and attach to peaceful thoughts that create a peaceful experience.
Then there is me and others like me who, even though we know its an illusion, and we work in the field of coaching, and helping others to change their thoughts, and shift their thinking (maybe we are their old souls), we still get caught in the illusion of thinking what has happened should not of happened. With all of our knowledge and experience, we need a coach, an old soul to help us move through those thoughts causing us so much pain.
I had a teacher who told me a long time ago, “Cheryl, you may be a fabulous life coach, and you are, but it is nearly impossible to coach yourself.” I hate to say it, but Dave Buck you were right. When I drift off in my own experience of personal pain, I need a life coach, I can not coach myself very effectively or efficiantly through my own personal pain. That too may be key, today I do not want to spend very long in that pain, especially when I know that a great coach can help me shift my thinking and move out of it so quickly!
Filed under: God, Joy, Open doorway, recovery coaching, Uncategorized | Tagged: change our thinking, devastation, fear, freedom, Joy, life coach, love, pain, shock | 2 Comments »
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